So, I have officially had my first holiday in Italy, away from my family, and managed to survive. But to be honest, it didn't really feel like Christmas. I woke up at about 9 am, just like any other morning, and went into the living room with Rebecca (a girl from Oregon who's studying in Milan for the year and is staying with us for the break). We went to the living room where my two host sisters had already opened a few of their presents, and had been waiting for us to open ours. Since I had gone with my host family a few days earlier to go shopping, I knew what one bag already was. But there was one other and I opened it and they got a nice purse/bag for me! After that we all went downstairs and ate a small breakfast (like always). We had hot chocolate and coffee.
After that, we just hung around for a few hours, relaxing.
In Italy, they celebrate Christmas by having a huge feast and staying up very late the night before, and eating a big lunch the next day. Needless to say, I was still full from the night before, and a bit tired since we didn't get home until 2 AM.
For lunch we went to the grandmothers house, which is connected to our house. We went there with the entire family, my host moms mother, and my host moms brother.
We ate lasagna and meat and potatoes, and for dessert had tiramisu. It was all delicious!
Later in the day my host sister and Rebecca and I went to a city nearby, named Taormina. In Taormina they had adorable lights in the streets, and we even went into this little museum where everything was made of chocolate! It is also Italian tradition to have a gigantic miniature Nativity scene. (sounds confusing, but I think you'll understand!) meaning everything is small and detailed, but the scene took up a third of the entire room! It was fascinating.
Overall, it was a good Christmas! It didn't feel like Christmas to me, really, but it was not bad in the slightest!
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Landscape & City Scape
A summary of everything I've seen so far that I thought was photo-worthy. The majority are of Messina, while some are Malazzo, Lipari, and Palermo. Enjoy. :)
New beginnings
Sooo, I changed host families two weeks ago! My old host family was having some family problems, and we honestly didn't click very well, so I think this my be better! I have 2 host sisters! (One is in the University and not at home) and the other is 17! I share a room with her. I also have two parents, and 5 big dogs! I LOVE THEM. Except for the one that constantly barks. I don't really like him.
We live a 10 minute drive from the center of Messina, so not nearly as close as I was before, but we live in a house instead of an apartment! (Which I prefer)
There is also an INCREDIBLE view here of Messina and the Port, and also of the mountain-side, which I will post pictures of tomorrow.
For the past week my school has been having occupazione (like occupy) where the students protest their dislikes about the school and stay at the school and don't let the teachers in the gate. It's a little extreme if you ask me. But, since occupazione is very illegal, and I, being a foreigner, cannot attend (unless I want to get sent home to America) which I don't really want to do right at this moment. So for me, it's a nice break!
As for social standards, I haven't had a sleepover since I've been here (it's not common in Italy) and I've been craving one so SO bad. Other than that, I get along well with my classmates, and we sometimes go out together, but there really isn't much to do in Messina besides go shopping and eat. But hey, that's cool with me.
I really wish I was making deeper relationships though, it's so hard because of the fact that I'm not very skilled at the language yet. It's like trying to become good friends with people you can only speak simple things with.
But I'm working on it.
On the brightside, Christmas is coming! (Which isn't all that great, as it brings all exchange students extreme homesickness) but I LOVE the holidays. Baking, making paper snowflakes (which I did this morning and now have a string of snowflakes above my bed) making presents, decorating he Christmas tree, and watching Christmas movies! This will be my first year that I don't go to my grandmas house for Christmas Day to spend with all of my family. But I don't feel sad, I just feel.. Weird. Like a part of me still is home, celebrating with them, but.. I'm not. I'm 8,000 miles from all of them. I tell ya... Exchange students need bipolar medication for all the waves of emotions we go through.
As for happiness, I'm beginning to find my way. Though constantly feeling stressed about weight gain, my online classes, making friends, learning the language, becoming close to my host family, I am learning to just relax. I'm learning to not get myself so stressed and just focus on one thing at a time.
I'm learning.
That was the whole point of coming here, wasn't it?
To learn, grow, mature, make friendships, become bilingual, and most of all HAVE FUN? Yes. It is indeed. But I guess I didn't really realize how many hardships I would have to go through to gain that maturity. Being far away from everyone you love for a long period of time does something to you.. I don't really know how to put it in words quite yet. It somewhat gives you a sense of true meaning. Why we do what we do, and why we act the ways we do.
I'm so bad at organizing my posts, I just get so into it.. Haha.
I am just trying to explain how I'm feeling, what I'm experiencing.
I feel on my way to content ness.. But I know Christmas is going to be really, really hard. But I'm SO looking forward to after Christmas (always the most fun of exchange) and the rest of this year.
We live a 10 minute drive from the center of Messina, so not nearly as close as I was before, but we live in a house instead of an apartment! (Which I prefer)
There is also an INCREDIBLE view here of Messina and the Port, and also of the mountain-side, which I will post pictures of tomorrow.
For the past week my school has been having occupazione (like occupy) where the students protest their dislikes about the school and stay at the school and don't let the teachers in the gate. It's a little extreme if you ask me. But, since occupazione is very illegal, and I, being a foreigner, cannot attend (unless I want to get sent home to America) which I don't really want to do right at this moment. So for me, it's a nice break!
As for social standards, I haven't had a sleepover since I've been here (it's not common in Italy) and I've been craving one so SO bad. Other than that, I get along well with my classmates, and we sometimes go out together, but there really isn't much to do in Messina besides go shopping and eat. But hey, that's cool with me.
I really wish I was making deeper relationships though, it's so hard because of the fact that I'm not very skilled at the language yet. It's like trying to become good friends with people you can only speak simple things with.
But I'm working on it.
On the brightside, Christmas is coming! (Which isn't all that great, as it brings all exchange students extreme homesickness) but I LOVE the holidays. Baking, making paper snowflakes (which I did this morning and now have a string of snowflakes above my bed) making presents, decorating he Christmas tree, and watching Christmas movies! This will be my first year that I don't go to my grandmas house for Christmas Day to spend with all of my family. But I don't feel sad, I just feel.. Weird. Like a part of me still is home, celebrating with them, but.. I'm not. I'm 8,000 miles from all of them. I tell ya... Exchange students need bipolar medication for all the waves of emotions we go through.
As for happiness, I'm beginning to find my way. Though constantly feeling stressed about weight gain, my online classes, making friends, learning the language, becoming close to my host family, I am learning to just relax. I'm learning to not get myself so stressed and just focus on one thing at a time.
I'm learning.
That was the whole point of coming here, wasn't it?
To learn, grow, mature, make friendships, become bilingual, and most of all HAVE FUN? Yes. It is indeed. But I guess I didn't really realize how many hardships I would have to go through to gain that maturity. Being far away from everyone you love for a long period of time does something to you.. I don't really know how to put it in words quite yet. It somewhat gives you a sense of true meaning. Why we do what we do, and why we act the ways we do.
I'm so bad at organizing my posts, I just get so into it.. Haha.
I am just trying to explain how I'm feeling, what I'm experiencing.
I feel on my way to content ness.. But I know Christmas is going to be really, really hard. But I'm SO looking forward to after Christmas (always the most fun of exchange) and the rest of this year.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
So if there was an award for being terrible at updating a blog, I believe I'd have first place.
Really though, I am always busy. Whether it's translating my homework, doing my homework, doing my online classes, going to Italian lessons, or going to my dance class, I am always doing something. I just want to pause time. Finish these stupid online classes, so I can actually enjoy myself a little bit. It's become so stressful. But, there's not much I can honestly do about fixing that right now.
As for how things are going, they honestly have not been that great. My host family has been given the impression that I don't like them, because of how introverted and quiet I am around them. I really don't try to be, I have just been having an extremely hard time opening up to everyone here. I guess it's my fear of being denied or shunned or made fun of.
Speaking of this, today I had lunch with my AFS advisor in Messina, where we talked about how I was honestly feeling and what I was having problems adjusting to.
I am having a hard time adjusting to the lack of communication, as it frustrates me to always feel confused. I am also having difficulty understanding how friendships work here, because people have always asked me to go out and do things, and then we do, but only for an hour and then we return home.
But as for how I'm really, honestly feeling, I can't really simply describe it.
Part of be knows how lucky I am to be in such a beautiful diverse place, and the other part of me doesn't understand the culture. Part of me is content, part of me is sad. Part of me is happy for what I get to do and part of me is angry at myself for choosing to do such a crazy thing.
I honestly can't describe how I'm feeling simply.
I know I need to put more effort into this, to give it my all and hope for the best, but it's incredibly, incredibly scary.
I don't know if these people will think I'm annoying or dress really weird, or laugh at me when I do something socially wrong.
But isn't that the whole idea of exchange? To put yourself somewhere where you don't know a thing about society, and expect to fit in and make friends and be happy?
I can't tell you why I chose to become an exchange student, because I honestly don't really know why. Something in me just knew I needed to do it. And if it takes me till June to figure out why, my patience I will keep.
Really though, I am always busy. Whether it's translating my homework, doing my homework, doing my online classes, going to Italian lessons, or going to my dance class, I am always doing something. I just want to pause time. Finish these stupid online classes, so I can actually enjoy myself a little bit. It's become so stressful. But, there's not much I can honestly do about fixing that right now.
As for how things are going, they honestly have not been that great. My host family has been given the impression that I don't like them, because of how introverted and quiet I am around them. I really don't try to be, I have just been having an extremely hard time opening up to everyone here. I guess it's my fear of being denied or shunned or made fun of.
Speaking of this, today I had lunch with my AFS advisor in Messina, where we talked about how I was honestly feeling and what I was having problems adjusting to.
I am having a hard time adjusting to the lack of communication, as it frustrates me to always feel confused. I am also having difficulty understanding how friendships work here, because people have always asked me to go out and do things, and then we do, but only for an hour and then we return home.
But as for how I'm really, honestly feeling, I can't really simply describe it.
Part of be knows how lucky I am to be in such a beautiful diverse place, and the other part of me doesn't understand the culture. Part of me is content, part of me is sad. Part of me is happy for what I get to do and part of me is angry at myself for choosing to do such a crazy thing.
I honestly can't describe how I'm feeling simply.
I know I need to put more effort into this, to give it my all and hope for the best, but it's incredibly, incredibly scary.
I don't know if these people will think I'm annoying or dress really weird, or laugh at me when I do something socially wrong.
But isn't that the whole idea of exchange? To put yourself somewhere where you don't know a thing about society, and expect to fit in and make friends and be happy?
I can't tell you why I chose to become an exchange student, because I honestly don't really know why. Something in me just knew I needed to do it. And if it takes me till June to figure out why, my patience I will keep.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
The little things
Yesterday, as I was walking down the street with a chocolate gelato in hand, happily walking to the grocery store, a (obvious) group of tourists looked at me and said "GELATO.. Where??" And I smiled, at how much it reminded me of myaelf, and went on to tell them that I speak English, and I showed them where they could buy gelato, and where some nearby clothing stores were. It, for some odd reason and some reason that I cannot clearly identify, made me incredibly happy. I was happy to help someone, and being able to practice my English fluently could have contributed to this short feeling of fleet.
On the other hand...
So.... Stress. I'm feeling that. I have been a lot lately. I'm trying my hardest in school. Trying to grasp what they are saying, but it is mentally (and physically) exhausting. I am attending school (in a language I don't understand) full time. I've also been taking online English and Civics, so I don't come home illiterate and with no Social Studies credit.
Other than that, things are okay. I've been trying to keep myself busy, mostly. I started taking a Modern Contemporary dance class, which I really love.
On the weekends I'm usually out with my host sister and her friends, going out for "parties" (where we pretty much just eat Focaccia; a square pizza, and hang out.)
Other than that, I haven't really been up to much. The weather is still too hot for me to call fall, and the Mosquitos are still out. (Fortunately, right?)
This weekend I have plans with some girls from my class to go out for dinner for one of their birthdays! And next week is halloween! Thankfully, I got invited to do something. I got invited to the disco! (Which is the equivalent to an American club)
I'm not sure if my host mom will allow this, and if not, I will be spending the evening with my host sister.
Also, in Italy they do not have school November 1st or 2nd, I'm not sure why. (I'm kind of always out of the loop because of the language barrier) so it will be a nice long weekend! I hope to possibly show my host sister some American halloween movies, (if I can find some online.)
And as far as settling into the lifestyle here, I'm honestly having a little difficulty. I'm used to having so much me time, private time, time I can appreciate for myself, while here it is necessary I spend lots of time with my host sisters and family. It's a different thing for me, as back home it's just my mom, brother and I.
As far as homesickness goes, I'm doing okay. I honestly miss objects, more than my home itself. Such as my comforter I've used since I was little, or hearing the sound of my creaky door as I open it in the morning, or carpet. (They don't have it here!) And sadly, as American as it makes me sound, I really miss American food. I miss having variety, as here it is all Italian food, All. The. Time.
I obviously miss my family and friends the most, but am afraid if I touch too much on that topic, I'll get too upset- I've just avoided thinking about it.
Also this month I went to Palermo (the capital of Sicily) with all the other AFS students on Sicily, and we had a 4 day break from our host families, and had a nice time catching up on where everyone was at with the settling process. They had mandatory private interviews for each student, and mine was- a little emotional to say the least.
I was asked if I was truly happy here, and I just broke- I started crying in front of a complete stranger that hardly spoke any English.
And she had me explain, which took me a few minutes because of the tears. I felt silly and childish for telling her my reasonings, but all she did was hold me, and rub my back, which essentially made me miss my mom, and made me cry even more. But my interviewer was extremely sweet. She wanted the best for me, and kept telling me how she wants to see me in June extremely happy.
And that's where I intend to be.
Happy.
I'll keep you updated on my progress in doing so.
On the other hand...
So.... Stress. I'm feeling that. I have been a lot lately. I'm trying my hardest in school. Trying to grasp what they are saying, but it is mentally (and physically) exhausting. I am attending school (in a language I don't understand) full time. I've also been taking online English and Civics, so I don't come home illiterate and with no Social Studies credit.
Other than that, things are okay. I've been trying to keep myself busy, mostly. I started taking a Modern Contemporary dance class, which I really love.
On the weekends I'm usually out with my host sister and her friends, going out for "parties" (where we pretty much just eat Focaccia; a square pizza, and hang out.)
Other than that, I haven't really been up to much. The weather is still too hot for me to call fall, and the Mosquitos are still out. (Fortunately, right?)
This weekend I have plans with some girls from my class to go out for dinner for one of their birthdays! And next week is halloween! Thankfully, I got invited to do something. I got invited to the disco! (Which is the equivalent to an American club)
I'm not sure if my host mom will allow this, and if not, I will be spending the evening with my host sister.
Also, in Italy they do not have school November 1st or 2nd, I'm not sure why. (I'm kind of always out of the loop because of the language barrier) so it will be a nice long weekend! I hope to possibly show my host sister some American halloween movies, (if I can find some online.)
And as far as settling into the lifestyle here, I'm honestly having a little difficulty. I'm used to having so much me time, private time, time I can appreciate for myself, while here it is necessary I spend lots of time with my host sisters and family. It's a different thing for me, as back home it's just my mom, brother and I.
As far as homesickness goes, I'm doing okay. I honestly miss objects, more than my home itself. Such as my comforter I've used since I was little, or hearing the sound of my creaky door as I open it in the morning, or carpet. (They don't have it here!) And sadly, as American as it makes me sound, I really miss American food. I miss having variety, as here it is all Italian food, All. The. Time.
I obviously miss my family and friends the most, but am afraid if I touch too much on that topic, I'll get too upset- I've just avoided thinking about it.
Also this month I went to Palermo (the capital of Sicily) with all the other AFS students on Sicily, and we had a 4 day break from our host families, and had a nice time catching up on where everyone was at with the settling process. They had mandatory private interviews for each student, and mine was- a little emotional to say the least.
I was asked if I was truly happy here, and I just broke- I started crying in front of a complete stranger that hardly spoke any English.
And she had me explain, which took me a few minutes because of the tears. I felt silly and childish for telling her my reasonings, but all she did was hold me, and rub my back, which essentially made me miss my mom, and made me cry even more. But my interviewer was extremely sweet. She wanted the best for me, and kept telling me how she wants to see me in June extremely happy.
And that's where I intend to be.
Happy.
I'll keep you updated on my progress in doing so.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
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